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Are you someone who is challenged with holding onto clutter? Do you feel like you need every single thing that you’ve ever collected “just in case?” If so, join the club! It can be hard to let go of things, especially if they hold sentimental value. But before you know it, your house is full of clutter and it’s hard to find anything. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we hang on to clutter when it does nothing but take up space and give us anxiety?
According to a study by UCLA’s Center on Everyday Lives of Families (CELF) the amount of stress we experience at home is directly proportional to the amount of stuff we and our family have accumulated.
In the study, a team of professional archaeologists, anthropologists and other social scientists conducted a systematic study of home life in 32 middle-class, dual-income families with 2-3 kids of ages 7-12 in Los Angeles.
The scientists examined the amount of their stuff and found that those who feel their homes are cluttered tend to:
- Be less happy with their marriages
- Have unhealthy patterns of the stress hormone cortisol
- Have difficulty managing every day tasks
- Feel ineffectual
- Have a harder time transitioning from work to home
- Get increasingly depressed throughout the day
- Having greater fatigue in the evenings.
We can have sentimental attachments to things, or we may believe our things have hidden monetary value, but the main reason we hang on to things is fear. However misguided, we can fear the loss of security, status, comfort, and love when we throw things out.
Others propose that discarding things we’ve purchased can be an admission of our failings, and holding on to them can also be toxic reminders of what we have not accomplished.
I have to start by saying that everyone is going to have a different definition of what clutter is.
The three questions I use to help define what clutter is are:
- Do you use it?
- Do you love it?
- Do you want it to be part of your life going forward?
Now that we know how to define clutter, here are some reasons why people hold onto clutter.
1. Money Spent
You may have heard the saying, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” This phrase perfectly encompasses the idea of why people hold on to clutter. For some people, any item with even a shred of monetary value is worth saving, regardless of how much space it takes up or how rarely it’s used. We perceive that the item still holds a high value because we remember what we spent on it. In that instance, it feels wasteful to just let it go.
2. Guilt
Perhaps you feel bad that someone bought you a gift that was not at all your taste. There are a variety of reasons that the item may not have been a fit for you and has become clutter in your home. We feel guilty about getting rid of something from someone we love.
Getting rid of stuff that holds meaning only makes it harder to purge. You might need the connection you feel by holding on that object, or worried you’ll forget about it once it’s gone.
Guilt can play a big role in our resistance to decluttering.
3. Fear of Letting Go
The most common reason we hold onto things is because we’re sentimental creatures.
Fear of letting go is another one of the reasons you keep clutter. It feels wasteful to get rid of things you might — just might — need down the road. What if you threw it out and missed it later?
We can create all sorts of scenarios under which that item that has sat lonely and unused for years could suddenly solve all of our problems. We worry we might need something again.
It may be a fear of not having enough — which creates hoarding and stockpiling — or a fear of forgetting memories, which leads to not being able to let go of any of your children’s artwork, photos, or other memorabilia.
4. Overwhelmed & Indecisive
If you haven’t decluttered before or haven’t done it in a while the whole idea can be overwhelming to the point of paralyzing you.
Some people just can’t muster the time and strength to sort and discard. Decluttering requires making a lot of decisions. Making decisions is hard and takes a lot of energy (more for some people than others).
Time is precious, and the last thing most of us want to spend it on is cleaning or decluttering. That’s why our stuff accumulates so quickly — we often don’t take the time to consider the things we own and the value (or lack thereof) they bring to our lives.
5. Not Sure Where to Start
This is something that can definitely stop us in our tracks. It can either be an excuse or a legitimate reason we don’t even start the decluttering process.
One of the things Marie Kondo encourages is a rapid, dramatic, and some might say ruthless organizing spree done all in one go. But that approach actually intimidates those people who need to start small – like a small drawer or box.
In conclusion….
What stands between you and your beautifully simplified life? Clutter.
The more we declutter, the better we get at it and the more aware we become of choosing what to keep, dump and seek in our lives. A little empty space helps makes room for a new way of living that enables stronger relationships and a stronger us through better physical and mental health.
Think of it this way: Getting rid of clutter is the ultimate form of self-care.
